Big Sur 2015
We walked into a social experiment analyzing things as they unfolded.
The asphalt was cold under my feet as Emmie and I scurried across Highway 1. We found our path in the shade of the trees, avoiding little acorns that had fallen. Two women were on the bench near the pay phone as we approached.
Me: “Hey, are you guys waiting to use the phone?”
She: “No, we’re just waiting for a friend.”
Looking her dead on she had a striking resemblance to Rachel McAdams, her equally beautiful brunette friend looked happy to have the company while waiting. They were in their mid to early 20s and were dressed in casual camp comforts.
Brunette: I like your hat, it’s really cool.
Emmie: Thanks
She must have tossed out the complement as a way to make Emmie feel comfortable as women sometimes do, or perhaps it was just a nice hat. McAdams began to explain that the young couple using the phone had suffered a flat tire on their Prius and were without a spare. At this point, appearing on the scene was the friend of the girls. Scraggly, fluttering about in a bright orange puff blazer, as though he belonged under a tree at some park in Boulder, Colorado. After being filled in on the situation, he went on to express his plan of action as if it was him in this predicament.
Mr.CO: “Yea, I would just post up on one these benches, light up a couple fatties and wait for the tow truck that’d be pretty rad.”
All of us thinking we could do better than that, the brunette took a crack at it.
Brunette: “Maybe they could find someone to bring them a spare from Monterey.”
All five of us diving deep into the counterfactuals to figure out the best way to resolve their abandoned situation. Over at the payphone things were heating up, a few steps away the boyfriend saw she becoming increasingly flustered decided to come join us, and was quick to fill us in on their misfortune.
BF: “Yea the rock just came off the mountain and landed right in the middle of the road.”
Making a sphere with his hands the size of a bowling ball.
BF: “Just smashed into the tire and broke the whole wheel of the car”
Mr.CO: “Wwwoooooo so it hit you guys while you were going?”
BF: “No, she ran it over and it wrecked the whole wheel.”
Suddenly, I didn’t feel so bad for them, the boyfriend did make it a point to say that his girlfriend was Asian and a very good driver. We offered up our conspiracies as hopes of goodwill and sincerity.
Emmie: “Hitch a ride South to Cambria, and pick a spare then come back.”
None of our propositions made much sense, or perhaps the circumstances were undeniable and called for hours, perhaps days of waiting in anguish. Just then, an idea planted itself in my head.
Me: “Maybe you could find someone with a prius and buy their spare tire off them. They’re plenty of priuses around someone is ought to help out.”
The boyfriend and the rest of our little group standing around the bench took a moment to play the events through their minds, resulting in a faint nod of agreement.
BF: “Yea, that could work, but who is gunna give up their spare up here.”
Me: “I don’t know, you only need that one.”
Mr.CO: “Yea dude, just imagine the white prius all sick coming around the bend, it’s got divine light all shooting out from the inside, fucking glowing right. Just pulls up next to you guys on the side of the road, and fuckin Ram Dass gets out of the car. He is wearing a dhoti, with his beard down to the ground and shit. Ram Dass just smiles, and, BAM! your tire is fixed.”
Emmie and I turned to face each other, locking eyes through her sunglasses both taken aback by a stranger bringing up Ram Dass, knowing we weren’t about to get into any family ties. Playing it off we offered up some new outrageous unnecessary act to be performed by Ram Dass.,”Or a flock of birds erupt from his car as he drives off into a mountain of light.” Mr. Colorado righteous banter n all, had touch on something worthy of pause, and what else is there to do other than admire such perplexities of our world.
The young couple disappeared into a car, and Emmie and I went to make our phone call, not getting through.
Walk Where You Want 